A STORY OF ENLIGHTENMENT

“I struggled spiritually and emotionally and even question why did God

allow this to happen.”

What matters in your life?

When I was 5-6 years old, I remembered that I was so attracted to the priesthood through

my parish priest late Fr Edwin Alexander. I was so fascinated by whatever Fr Alex did

during the mass and as a child, I would dress up like a priest using my grandma’s sarong

and towels and handing out Haw flakes as Holy Communion to anyone around me, especially my cousins.

My Family’s religious background

I come from a very devout Catholic family, my parents were very active in the parish

ministry and also very prayerful. We will always pray the rosary as a family every Friday

together and my parents will always bring us (me and my siblings) to all the ordination in

Diocese of Penang when we were small. They did it without knowing that one day their

son will be an ordained priest.

Why I decided to pursue a religious life/priesthood

There was always something that was disturbing me, a voice or a thought that always

showed me an image of a Priest. But I always have pushed aside the thought of being a

priest as I was in a relationship and was planning to get married to the love of my life.

But everything changed when my lover passed away in a car accident in front of my eye and everything went dark. I struggled spiritually and emotionally and even question

why did God allow this to happen.

But everything changed when I went on a pilgrimage to Portugal and it was at a small

chapel at Santarem which has a Miracle Host in a special Tabernacle. As I kneeled and

prayed, asking God what does he want from me, do you want me to be a priest?

Show me a sign and I will join the seminary. Thinking nothing will happen but to my surprise the tabernacle which holds the Miracle Host opened by itself and was exposed to

me and that’s how I answered “Yes Lord, thy will be done”, and the door closed by itself.

Even then, I went and checked with the sacristan did you open the tabernacle door and he

said no and it will be only open twice a year. This experience brought goosebumps and

at that moment I knew I was called by Christ and joined the seminary.

How my religious beliefs have changed over time

I will say that it was a faith muscle building, just like how we work out at the gym to build our body muscles. It can be a painful, tiring, and challenging moment, especially changing our food diet, and way of life but the result will be amazing and everyone will be amazed at

the transformation that we have gone through. Faith muscles are also the same, especially

during my formation year in the seminary, there were a lot of spiritual dryness and doubts

that was haunting me but faithfulness and perseverance helped me to grow in faith and

my relationship with Jesus. As how St Teresa of Calcutta will say always “I do not pray

for success; I ask for faithfulness” Despite not feeling God for 30 years, she was always

faithful to God.

What religious life/ Priesthood life is life for me

Priesthood life is the same as married life where both the couple will make a promise

or a covenant with each other. To love, to care, and to be faithful to each other in good

times and sickness. Priesthood is also the same, as the bride of Christ, I also make

my promise to Christ, to love him with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my strength until the end of my earth life and when I meet Him in His Kingdom and the same

time to be a Persona of Christ to all the people of God in my ministry as a Priest or as

Diocesan Priest all the people in my Parish and Diocese.

What I enjoy about being a religious / Priest

The most enjoying part of my priesthood is ministering the sacraments to the people

especially the sacrament of reconciliation and the sacrament of anointing the sick where I

experience the tender love and care of Jesus is been transmitted to the people and how

healing takes place spiritually and physically.

What challenges do I face in religious life / Priesthood

For me, the most challenging is learning the Tamil language, especially reading and

writing but with God’s grace I am learning fast and one day surely will be able to

celebrate Mass in Tamil and also minister the sacraments in Tamil for the Tamil speaking

community.

The other challenges are that I am unable to do hiking and play football which I was able

to do during my seminary times and as a priest sometimes it is challenging as I will have

pastoral needs that to be seen.

My advice for those who are interested in religious life / Priesthood

We all have a calling, either as Religious Life, Married, Priesthood, and also as

Consecrated Single Life. The only way to have any sense of purpose in life is if we seek

God’s plan for our life and purpose is hands-in-hand with Him. Don’t let fear, doubts, and your dark moment or sinful moment stop you from becoming the person God

has sanctified you to be. Remember, God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the

called also remember Every Saint has a past and every sinner has a future.