Still a Mystery

Sister Paolina Salem, FSP

“For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships,

persecutions, and calamities. For I when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Cor 12: 10

What has been part of your life?

My vocation has been and, it is still a mystery for me. I cannot exactly say when it all began. For me the call did not come suddenly in the middle of the night or something that was revealed at one moment in my life. There was nothing special or spectacular happening. It has been experiencing and encountering God as the God who challenges, who asks questions, who calls through different situations and people through the Gospel and the Church. It is like the seed that grows and develops in its own time and unfolds itself through life.

My family’s religious background

I was gifted with devout and God-fearing parents who brought me up as a good Christian and a good child of God. At an early age, I was taught by my mother the importance and value of prayers. I was only six years old when I learned and memorized all the basic prayers. My favorite prayer was the Angelus. I used to lead that prayer every six o’clock in the evening. I knew also how to say the Rosary. But I did not like it so much because it is very long, and especially at that time they usually pray it with the Litany. It was too long for me. Anyhow I can lead them both – the Rosary and the Angelus.

Why did I decide to pursue a religious life?

It was during my second-year high school when my mother took me along with her to Manila to visit my brother who was then a young novice in the Society of St. Paul. The Priests and Seminarians were all residing in a small compound at the back of Our Lady of Sorrows Church in Harrison, Pasay. From the terminal, we went straight to that place. We entered the Church and there were only a few people inside because the Mass was already finished. At the first pew near the Altar was a thin white-haired priest kneeling, praying. I did not mind at all since I do not know him yet.

Then came my brother with another priest. The priest remained outside the Church while my brother approached us and knelt beside me. He whispered to me, “Do you see that priest in front? He is our Founder, a very holy and saintly man.” Oh, what a grace and blessing for us, my mother and me, to see a living saint! It was not long before the priest stood up and went outside. The other priest outside met him. My brother wanted us to greet him, so we also went out of the Church and followed him. He greeted us with a tender smile on his face. Respectfully, I took his hand and kissed it. He put his thumb on my forehead and blessed me. He did likewise to my mother.

While he was blessing me, he asked me this question: “Do you want to become a sister?” Without thinking I answered at once, “YES Father”. I tried to look at him, but I couldn’t because his looks seemed to penetrate my entire being. I just heard him saying: (while patting my shoulder) “BRAVA, BRAVA. Molto bene.” “Prego per te.” After that we left with my heart overwhelmed with joy, with his gentle voice still ringing in my ears.

The following day my brother brought us to the Convent of the Daughters of St. Paul, not so far from their place. It was on Dominga Street, Pasay City. Another big grace was given to us – Prima Maestra Thecla was there. Meeting her for the first time was indeed a privilege and a big grace for me. She too gave me a special blessing and some encouraging words on the beauty of following the Will of God. I was only 12 years old then, and the Superior told me to finish at least my high school studies. The goodness and the welcoming attitude of the sisters have encouraged me and helped me a lot in making my decision to enter the convent. It was on the feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel when I left home and was accepted as an aspirant to the Daughters of St. Paul.

How my religious beliefs have changed over time.

After we visited the sisters, we went home. I continued my studies with the Augustinian Sisters. Meanwhile, without letting anybody know this desire in my heart, I tried to prepare myself for a life of commitment to God, asking him to help me and show me how. Times of prayer became very important to me. The desire to know God better, to let God realize his dream for a new world in me and through me was growing and becoming more intense.

What is religious life for me?

Since I joined the sisters, I met a lot of surprises along the way, discoveries, and disillusions. God has been very generous, more than I could ever expect. He has put true sisters on my path who have led me to know God better.

What challenges did I face in my religious life?

My struggles and the fragility of the community have been reminding me repeatedly that “we hold a treasure in earthen vessels” and that if Jesus and his Gospel are not the centers of our life, then it has no meaning. St. Paul in one of his letters says: “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with my weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, etc., for when I am weak, then I am strong.” It is in our human weakness that we find our strength. This truth constantly challenges me. God comes into our lives in our poverty, when there is space for him to do what he wants with us.